The Dynamic

- and then we are going to Eastern Washington. Do you know where that is? And we have to drive for five hours. It’s going to suck.

It was to see his great uncle. He was going to be taken by his grandparents; he never knew his real parents. But he had a stage now - a captive audience of one - and continued.

- I don’t know what we’re going to do there. None of my friends will be there. I’m going to ask to take my Atari. I went there once last year and there was nothing, nothing to do. But he has a pool. That will be cool. I don’t know. Do you know Jeff? He has to go to a camp for like, two weeks. I guess I’m lucky, it’s just the weekend. What are you going to do?
- I’m just going to be here, I’m…
- I’d rather just be here too. I just got an Atari and I want to play with it. You should see it, its fun. Do you want to play basketball? Have you played horse? I can show you how.
- Okay.

Ronnie would take some liberties while teaching horse. Rules would be adjusted as he sensed a disadvantage. There was no real threat, however – just a moment when his friend made a lucky shot that tagged him with an “H”. He had suggested the game intending to skunk his opponent. Maintain the dynamic.

- So, if I can sink this shot, I have to do it twice? Because you have the lead?
- Yeah. But it only applies to first-timers. Next time, you don’t have to do it.

The quiet one knew it was untrue, but played along with it. The promise of future relief was alleviation. Despite his young age, he was not wholly unaware that he had a place in the pecking order.

Though they were the same age, he adored Ronnie. And his young mind grasped this much: he was always the one who would adore. He’d been adored before - his next door neighbor - and it was too much. He could still feel obligation without ever having used the word. He felt and he knew his place. He would adore, and there would be a time when that which he adored would go away – it was a pattern with which he had become familiar. He felt okay about this, too. There were other things and people to love, to spend time with, to preoccupy himself. He would find something.

He was content, until he was away from the interaction. Ronnie always talked, and never asked him anything. He knew so much that never went said. He was sucked into prompting Ronnie to talk all the more. He was beginning to see how important he truly was, seeing how little Ronnie adored him. How small and of little value he was. Ronnie too, would find something if he went away.

But he wouldn’t go away, because of his desire to be near Ronnie. This was his unhappiness - the internal conflict he could not resolve. What he would learn to deal with.